I just did a quick Google in hope that I'd find someone who'd actually done brain surgery on a Barbie... but, alas, we Americans seem to lack the creativity and forsight to undertake such a task. Or we're just plain old lazy.
So now I feel challenged. Hmmm... I could pick up a scapel at the vet's office. (If I tell my vet what I'm thinking, she'd probably offer an operating room.) And I could use a dremel tool as a cranial saw... and I could pick up a brand new Barbie just about anywhere. (And yes, it would have to be a new one. I'd hate for my skeptiks to claim that an 'old' barbie 'lost' her brain before I performed my little experimental operation.)
(Okay, this is starting to sound a little weird. Sorry, but hellsbells folks, somebody's gotta do it. I see it as my duty in a sort of Save America kind of way. Show the world that we still have some spunk.)
Of course, part of me is afraid to do this. What if I opened Barbie up and found Sarah Palin's brain in there?
Showing posts with label Mericons-R-Dum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mericons-R-Dum. Show all posts
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Does this thing still work?
Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know. Over a year has slipped away since I last posted. Instead of offering lame excuses, I’ll tell the truth…. 1) I’ve been lazy, 2) I was busy playing Scrabble and 3.) I’ve been lazy.
It’s been quite a year though…
In our lovely Alaska town, Suburban Blight, the price of gasoline is almost half of what it was earlier this year. Given the state of our economy, this is no big surprise. (If you want insightful writing on the economy, check out my wife’s blog, www.omegamom.com. If not, read on.) But still… petrol has dropped two bucks a gallon! Wow. To me, this has raised a big red flag that everyone else seems to have missed.
The banks are slurping up a bailout, and the American automakers are begging one. Wall Street is a mess—even Walmart stock is behaving poorly. The housing market is gone. G-O-N-E gawwwnnnnn. But petroleum is off by half and the oil companies are…
Strangely quiet. The financial world has found the proverbial handbasket of hell, and the oil comps are silent. And no one seems to be wondering why? Why aren’t they whining? Why aren’t they pissing? Moaning? Bellyaching?
Simple, they’ve been screwing us for years, and they know if they pitch a fuss right now, we might just notice that they are still making money hand over fist.
But then again, we might not. This is America, after all. This is the country that elected George Bush twice and destroyed another country for no good reason at all. This is the land where millions of people purchased homes they couldn’t afford with credit they didn’t have. This is the country that ignored global warming until we couldn’t afford to pay the air conditioning bill any longer. Face it, we aren’t all that bright.
So if the oil companies want to continue putting the squeeze on us while the rest of the economy goes south, the only response I can muster is… well… fuck us. We've got it coming.
It’s been quite a year though…
In our lovely Alaska town, Suburban Blight, the price of gasoline is almost half of what it was earlier this year. Given the state of our economy, this is no big surprise. (If you want insightful writing on the economy, check out my wife’s blog, www.omegamom.com. If not, read on.) But still… petrol has dropped two bucks a gallon! Wow. To me, this has raised a big red flag that everyone else seems to have missed.
The banks are slurping up a bailout, and the American automakers are begging one. Wall Street is a mess—even Walmart stock is behaving poorly. The housing market is gone. G-O-N-E gawwwnnnnn. But petroleum is off by half and the oil companies are…
Strangely quiet. The financial world has found the proverbial handbasket of hell, and the oil comps are silent. And no one seems to be wondering why? Why aren’t they whining? Why aren’t they pissing? Moaning? Bellyaching?
Simple, they’ve been screwing us for years, and they know if they pitch a fuss right now, we might just notice that they are still making money hand over fist.
But then again, we might not. This is America, after all. This is the country that elected George Bush twice and destroyed another country for no good reason at all. This is the land where millions of people purchased homes they couldn’t afford with credit they didn’t have. This is the country that ignored global warming until we couldn’t afford to pay the air conditioning bill any longer. Face it, we aren’t all that bright.
So if the oil companies want to continue putting the squeeze on us while the rest of the economy goes south, the only response I can muster is… well… fuck us. We've got it coming.
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